Friday, March 22, 2013

Watch Me Daddy

Growing up I remember calling out to my poppers, "watch me Daddy!!"  There was a great feeling of satisfaction knowing that my poppers was watching me with that look of love and pride that only a father could give.

As I have grown older and have entered my reflective years, I find myself wondering if I still have that need to cry out to a Heavenly Father,
 "watch me daddy!!"

The most inspirational people that I have had the pleasure of encountering do not have the need or the desire to call out, "watch me daddy."  They just go about quietly serving when and where they see a need.
They have no desire to stand out or take center stage.
They are most happy standing back in the corners and allowing someone else to bask in the lime light of center stage.

I have found myself searching long and deep to see if I am still crying,  "watch me daddy" and in so doing I'm yanking someone off the stage and placing myself front and center with the light shining brightly on me.  I find myself so eager to share tidbits of inspiration and learning that I don't seem to allow someone else the time to share.
I find myself gazing about eagerly waiting for someone to share and when no one offers then I just jump right in.
Over zealous comes into my mind.
 (I remember a Book of Mormon story about a "over zealous man" and things got rocky.  hint hint to myself)

Deep down I kick myself because more than anything I want to be like my stalwart friends who quietly stand in the wings of the stage.  But alas, I am the queen of insecurities and I believe that when I cry out,
"watch me daddy" I am attempting to mask my insecurities.
Now that I am aware of this action of mine what am I to do?

My goal is to cast away an insecurity and replace it with a solid stone of confidence, so that one day I too will not have the need to cry out, "watch me daddy!!"
But like my beloved friends and mentors I'll be able to stand back in the wings and along with them bask in the light and love of a loving Heavenly Father's gaze as He gazes upon His beloved children in whom He is well pleased.

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