While scrolling through posts on my FB book page this morning I came across this gem posted by Terri Jeppson, at first I was just going to scroll past because I thought the wording was harsh; but then I read who had made the quote, Rosemary Thackeray and found myself instead reading her words.
I am surrounded in my FB world by many women who face the same empty childless home as I do.
I understand their tears, longing and frustrations because I have walked through each and every emotion that comes with being childless.
I learned years ago that each of us are on the same path as Lds women working our way back to our eternal home but I have also learned that each of us learn and grow at different paces.
I have read many a "what to say, what not to say, how to bear childlessness, and the list goes on and on in hopes of helping those who are in that situation come to a sort of peace with their empty arms.
As for me, Sister Thackeray's counsel touched me deeply:
"Maintain confidence when speaking of motherhood, but be aware and sensitive to the situation of the people you are addressing. Perhaps you have heard a teacher or speaker say something to this effect: “For those who do not have children, remember to keep an eternal perspective. One day, despite current circumstances, you will be a mother of numberless children.” While this may be true, it does not begin to fill the void and emptiness a childless woman can feel and may seem to trivialize her feelings. Individuals need not feel obligated to provide advice with the intent to make a person feel better about her situation. It is always best to be led by the Spirit, and sometimes it is best to say nothing."
I have had many try to support me with their well meaning words and instead they were a jab to my
already wounded heart and I would withdraw but over the years I have found that when I follow the Spirit there is no wounded heart and there are time when the Spirit just "zips" my fast moving lips.
Since I have started writing and sharing my thoughts this has been made very clear to me.
I remember times where I was angry, hurt and wanting to lash out on my blog and my mind would be blank and I was unable to write but after I humbled myself and allowed the Spirit to work with me the words would once again flow through my finger tips as I typed and my mind would be full of ideas.
I am so grateful for inspired women who like me are trudging through the
"muddled, mortal middle" with me.
Their words let me know that even on those dark days when I feel all alone I'm not alone.
How grateful I am for having the light of the Gospel which shines so brightly in my life and which brings me great peace and joy in the knowledge that I can Nurture so many around me.
May her words speak to those who are in the same rocking, storm tossed boat as me.
That they too may come to peace with their for now empty arms.