Sunday, May 10, 2015

"What is this thing called Death?"



(Brent L Top Byu Education Week 2010)

In 2012 I started working as a Hospice nurse.  A Hospice nurse is one who comes in and educates a families about the process of death and maintains the comfort and dignity of their loved one who is dying.  It is a very emotion filled job yet it is such a privilege and blessing to be a part of something so sacred.

I have sat with those who were ready and not afraid of death and I have set with those who have fought to their last breath to stay on this mortal plane.
I have sat with those who accept and are excited to see their deceased loved ones and I have offered comfort to those who are scared and in a panic when they see their deceased loved one.  It is a very special career choice and I love it!

My life has been surrounded with watching those I love the most being called back to their heavenly home.  Each was tearful yet there was a great peace that came when they took their last breath.  Most my family had been called home naturally but my brother made another choice which to this day has left me with unanswered questions but peace has finally come to my tortured soul and his untimely death.

Many fear death because of their fear of the "Unknown."  I guess it is due in large part to my LDS beliefs that I do not fear death and there is no "Unknown" for me.  My understanding teaches me that this mortal probation is a testing ground and a time to prepare to return to our creator and if our lives are in order we have nothing to fear.

I sat with a good friend who was not LDS but who was a honorable and good man.  As he took his last breath I felt this great peace come into the room and his face was filled with peace.  I felt a great love wash over me as I gazed upon his face and knew that our Heavenly Father was pleased with what this humble man had done during his mortal probation.

One of our great leaders of our church talked about how it took "more faith" for him to remain in this mortal sphere due to he had glimpses of our Heavenly home.  I have had two near death experiences where I was told I needed to come back.  Like that great prophet I found myself begging to stay there with them, my loved ones, but then they showed me why I had to come back and I remember this great love pouring into my heart and "WHAM"
I was back in my body.
Oh, how my soul longs to be there.

In the talk that I have attached to my thoughts Brother Top talks about our loved ones and "How greater their love for us has grown since being in their Heavenly home."  As he was speaking my mind flashed quickly over my childhood and how loved I had been then there was a brief moment when my beloved mom and popper's had been called home came over me.
The moment they had been called home I felt this great joy and love wash over me.
 It was so powerful that my whole body was tingling!!
 It was a taste of what it is to come and it is what keeps me moving forward with Faith.

I now believe I understand a moment I had when I was standing at my brother's casket.
I heard my brother pleading with me to let everyone know how sorry he was because he had not realized how loved he had been in his mortal probation.

Because Brother Top did a much better job expressing his thoughts on this subject I am going to let his word finish up what I am unable to put into words.

May we all find hope and beauty in his words and may his words erase the fears of the "unknown."

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