Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Count Your Blessings

A few weeks ago I felt the whisper that I needed to share my thoughts on my blessings.
With Thanksgiving just a day away I felt that I needed to sit down and share my blessings.

There was a time I loved this time of year.
At Thanksgiving all my family would get together and the love that filled the home we were in would consume me.  Oh, how I loved that time; but in 98 that changed.
In 98 I had my beloved poppers at home and he was dying from bone cancer.
The week of Thanksgiving, my mother became very ill and I had to rush her to the ER.
At 3 am our trusted doctor was called in to visit with me.  He told me that my mother was very sick and that she probably would not make it through the night.

Words cannot even describe my feelings of helplessness and loss, I remember asking our doctor to "just shoot me now...I can't lose both my parents at one time."  He reassured me that I would be fine and for me to focus on my poppers and entrust him with my mom.  I have had many say, "Oh, the Lord is just given me to much to handle..."  I know that feeling well, I have had many painful moments where "it was much to handle."

When I left the hospital I was scared and unsure but that loyal friend whispered, "all will be well."
Thanksgiving was the worst.  I prepared a meal thinking that my poppers and I could share one last meal but he was so sick he could not even drink what I had pureed so that he could eat.
My mother was still at deaths door.
Those days proceeding Thanksgiving were horrible for me, I only share those details with a select few.

Nov 30th my beloved poppers was called home.  I was past devastated.  My mom slowly started to regain her strength so that I did not lose both my parents that year.
The day my poppers was called home I was emotionally and physically spent.
I felt as if I were going to tumble right over a ledge into a dark and deep abyss with no light in sight.
I know that my Heavenly Father was aware of my condition and though he took me right to edge
He never let me topple over it.

While my mom was here we did special things with special friends and what was left of our family for Thanksgiving, but in 2003 when she was called home that all ended.

Yesterday, I found myself at my vets office, our Fat Boy was not feeling well at all.
Last year he got extremely sick and I had a dream involving him and my poppers.
I knew that he was to special of a dog and that he would not live to be a ripe old age.
I just didn't know how long we had left with him.

As my vet and I were visiting I shared with him how I hated this time of year.
Him knowing my family understood why.
When I got his call my world once again came crashing down around me.
Fat Boy and I went for one last ride with him resting his head against my arm.
He loved being my co pilot.
He got to roll in the grass and play with his favorite ball wagging his tail and looking at me
with his adoring eyes.
He was truly a happy dog.

Time quickly passed and we found ourselves back at my trusted vet who lovingly ended our Zippers suffering.  He passed lying beside me with his head on my foot and me rubbing his ears.
My vet then gave me a hug and told me "You have my permission to hate this time of year."

When I got home Lucy Goosie was in the front yard honking at me, Chessie our new kittie that adopted us came running out to greet me rolling on the ground at my feet and jumping at me playing. Our seven ducks were quaking away and Li'l Girl was whinnying, running and bucking.
In the back yard Zipper's kids were rough housing and barking with Pip a Roan an Boomer a Rang waiting at the fence wagging their tales.
Everything seemed normal but in my heart there was a major piece gone.
Our Fat Boy would never again be at the door with his ball in his mouth and his tale a wagging to greet me.
Jobie and Sassy are going to be the only two to greet me now.

I wish I would have posted this blog last week when my heart wasn't breaking.
All my loved ones are on the other side and I miss them so very much.
 It is no fun being an orphan especially this time of year.

During the darkness of 98 I found myself crying out to Heavenly Father "why me, this isn't fair..."
Then I heard a loving voice singing these verses to me:

"When upon life's billow you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost
Count your many blessing name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Count your blessing name them one by one
Count your blessings see what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
see what God hath done"
(When upon Life's Billows)

So here are some of my blessings that I felt I needed to share:

1.  My testimony that I know I'm a Child of God and He loves and knows my name
2.  My being a part of  Coxy's army, the Bradshaw clan and my spouse.  I am so loved
3.  My critters that Heavenly Father created just for me
5.  My friends whom I call my family along with my adopted grand-mas and grand-pas
6.  Prophets that speak peace and encouragement to my heart
7.  Being temple worthy oh how I love the temples
8.  A believing and open heart that easily loves
9.  An inquiring mind I have asked and I have received
10. Faith that the Lord will never break a promise and that one day I will be reunited with my family
11. Snow oh how I love snow, "thou thy sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow."
12.  The knowledge of "The Worth of a Soul"
13.  My education that I  truly am an instrument in the Lord's hands in bringing a little peace to a struggling family
14.  My health overall the Lord has blessed me with good health
15.  Our Home, oh how I love our little "chicken coop"
16.  Eyes to see and ears that hear
17.  My little TDI Golf that is in a center of controversy
18.  My love of music and being able to play beautiful music
19.  My creativity of trying to create
20.  The conveniences that my parents and grand-parents never had
21.  Technology that has allowed to me track my family and keep in touch with friends
22.  Utah, that is where my family is buried and my two of my favorite temples are there
23.  Birthdays oh how I love birthdays
24.  Nature the Lord was truly an artist and how I love his creations
25.  Trials, they have refined me and have shown me in whom I can trust and they have made me a  better person
26.  The ability to read and write although my handwriting has went to hex, hard to read
27.  My freedom and liberties that come from my ancestors and others who put their lives on the line for me to retain my freedom and liberty how I love the United States
28.  Anniversaries in today's world it is sad that many marriages are ending up in divorce.
 I am so grateful for my parents and other family members examples.  
My parents were married 66 years and I had a beloved aunt and uncle who were married 72 years.
29.The power of Prayer.  How grateful I am for that communication with my Father in Heaven
30.  All the many talents my Heavenly Father has blessed me with.

Well that pretty well sums up a few of my blessings.  My greatest blessing and joy have been found in the knowledge that I am a Divine Daughter of God and He loves me and knows my name. Everything great in my life has been placed there by Him. 
I believe the sorrows in my life were also allowed by Him so that I could learn to love Him with all my heart might mind and strength.

So now I will close with a loving reminder to myself "God be with you til we Meet Again."
There is no doubt in my mind that I one day will be reunited with all the members of my family but until then "God be us us til we meet again."

May you all have a thankful Thanksgiving with your loved ones.  
Enjoy them while they are here because one day Heavenly Father will call them back to their eternal home and leave you here to continue the work.

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