Am I My Brothers Keeper?

 

I attend a very small branch and before Relief Society we gather as sisters and talk about various subjects.  Today it was shared that a star athlete and class president in one of our small communities had chosen to end his life by suicide along with another fellow student.  I shared that I had wondered because Elder Holland's talk from our last conference had been running through my mind.  It was heartbreaking to hear.  I remember softly stating "it is so hard to be the ones left behind aka Suicide Survivor."

It was then our sweet sweet teacher commented that her lesson today was based on Elder Holland's talk.  I jokingly told her I was going to have to stop attending her lessons because she always used the Conference talks that touched me deeply and left me in tears.   Needless to say, it was a tearful lesson.  

I listened as a dear sister shared with us her sons attempts at ending his life multiple times and how when she reached out for help she would hit walls of indifference, "Oh, he's just out being a boy, He's just fine, You're just overreacting..."  I could go on and on.  All I could do was nod my head in agreement because I heard those same lines when I attempted to reach out to get help for my brother.  She thanked our Heavenly Father for being there with him and caused a divine intervention.  Sadly, the divine intervention for me and my brother was for me to let Heavenly Father allow my brother to take his chosen path.  It has taken me years to understand.  Each of our journeys are our own to tread.

Before our lesson began I was sharing how the brethren are always telling us that we out of all people should have the greatest reasons to rejoice, be cheerful and happy and yet so many members are unhappy and always carry a frown.  A sister quickly piped in, "if people always see you smiling they get offended because they don't have that happy cheery disposition..."  I quickly responded, "that is their issue to bear not mine."  She continued on that once offended "they would not want to be around you..."  I let that conversation go until there was a moment in the lesson where Elder Holland was pleading with the youth not to take "suicide as a way out...and how it would not ease their pain...and how the Savior who loved us most gave His life for us..."  I then remembered a story I had watched concerning the alarming rates of suicides at the San Francisco golden gate bridge and how one note tore at my heartstrings, "I will not jump if one person smiles at me."  No one smiled they found the note attached to an empty jacket.  This person had jumped.  I then looked at the sister whom I had the animated conversation with and shared with her that story and how that day I made a promise to myself that I would smile and greet everyone I met because I never knew who was going to be on that bridge and if my smile and greeting uplifted them it would be worth more than any might be offense.

I then shared a story I had read where a freshman in high school who saw a classmate walking home from school with all his books in his arms.  A bunch of kids ran up to him and knocked the books out of his arms and tripped him.  This classmate then observed incredible sadness in this young man's eyes and his "heart went out to him."   He approached him and saw tears in his eyes.  He then proceeded to help him pick up his books and called the kids "jerks."  He walked with this young man to his home and invited him to join him and his friends.  They developed a true friendship. 

At their graduation this young man was their valedictorian and in his speech he talked about "thanking those who helped you make it through some very tough years."  He referenced parents, coaches, teachers...but "mostly friends."  He then shared how that day so long ago when he was carrying all his books home he had decided he was going to end his life and he was carrying all his books home so his mother would not have to clean out his locker.  He then commented, "thankfully I was saved.  My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..."  

Am I my Brother's Keeper? 

One never knows how one small act of kindness can change a perspective.

It is my prayer we will do as President Hinckley counseled "a little better each day."

I would like to close with Elder Henry D Taylors inspired words:  

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

By Elder Henry D. Taylor

Assistant to the Council of the Twelve

After Adam had been created by the Lord in his image and after his own likeness, the Lord pointed out that it was not good for man to be alone. So Eve was created and given to Adam to be his wife, his companion and helpmeet.

Adam and Eve received many instructions from the Lord. Among them was the mandate to multiply and replenish the earth, or in other words, to bring children into the world. Without hesitation they followed that injunction, and in due time a son was born to them. How proud, how thrilled and delighted they must have been with their new child. Undoubtedly, they had wonderful dreams and high hopes for him. They gave him the name of Cain. Later they were blessed with another son, who was called Abel.

The boys differed noticeably in temperament and disposition. As they matured and reached manhood, Cain became a tiller of the soil and Abel chose to become a keeper of sheep. The scriptures reveal that Abel loved the Lord. He was obedient and hearkened unto his voice. Cain was rebellious and loved Satan more than God. Out of selfishness and in a fit of jealousy, Cain rose up and slew his brother, Abel.

When the Lord inquired of Cain, “Where is Abel, thy brother?” Cain arrogantly replied with the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Moses 5:34.)

Over the years that question has been asked numerous times. To that question, many today would respond with firm conviction, “Yes, Cain, you are your brother’s keeper, and not only you, but each one of us is our brother’s keeper.”

Those who labor so diligently and unselfishly with aching backs and blistered hands on welfare projects are doing so because they love their brothers and sisters and do not want them to suffer from cold nor hunger.

The home teachers and visiting teachers who faithfully visit their assigned families regularly to determine if all is well and in order surely believe, Cain, that they are their brother’s keeper.

When one visits the houses of the Lord, the temples, he is impressed by the dedicated members of the Church who have sought out their deceased loved ones through research. They attend the temples often to perform vicarious ordinances for them that will make exaltation and eternal life possible. Truly they believe that they are their brother’s keeper.

As we observe the sincere and enthusiastic labors of the thousands of missionaries throughout the world declaring the restored truth, not for their individual benefit, but to teach the glorious principles of the gospel to the peoples of the earth for their blessing, we are again impressed, Cain, that they have a conviction that they are their brother’s keeper.

There are over 5,000 American Indian children, coming from fifty tribal backgrounds, living with Latter-day Saint families during the school year. They receive the same love and attention given to their foster brothers and sisters—a true act of love and brotherhood on the part of these families, with no reward other than the knowledge that they are helping a choice son or daughter of our Heavenly Father take his or her rightful place in the world. They too are their brother’s keeper.

In teaching his followers, Jesus often used the scriptural terminology of neighbor in designating his brother.

At one time a certain lawyer asked the Savior what he must do to inherit eternal life. The Master asked him what he read in the law. The lawyer pondered a moment and then replied: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.” (Luke 10:27.)

He was assured his answer was correct. In order to justify himself, he then posed the question: “And who is my neighbour?”

Jesus, the Master Teacher, then told of a certain man who was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. Thieves fell upon him, stripping him of his clothing, beating him brutally, and leaving him half dead. By chance a priest came along and, observing the wounded man, turned his head, crossed the road, and passed by on the other side. Soon a Levite came along, and when he saw the injured person, he also passed by on the opposite side of the road.

But a Samaritan riding along was filled with compassion when he viewed the unfortunate man. Stopping his animal, he bound up the victim’s wounds and poured oil and wine into the afflicted parts. Placing the suffering man upon his beast, he took him to a nearby inn, where he further ministered unto him.

On the morrow when he departed, he took some money from his purse and handed it to the innkeeper, requesting him to care for the injured man and promising that he would compensate him for any additional expense incurred when he returned from his journey.

The Savior then posed the question: “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?” To this the lawyer readily answered: “He that shewed mercy on him.” The Savior said unto him: “Go, and do thou likewise.” (Luke 10:36–37.)

One of the most beautiful and tender accounts of brotherly love, concern, and devotion took place in Carthage Jail on the afternoon of the martyrdom. “The afternoon was sultry and hot. The four brethren [Joseph and Hyrum Smith, John Taylor, and Willard Richards] sat listlessly about the room with their coats off; and the windows of the prison were open to receive such air as might be stirring. Late in the afternoon Mr. Stigall, the jailor, came in and suggested that [in view of threats made by the radical and bloodthirsty mob] they would be safer in the cells. Joseph told him that they would go in after supper. Turning to Elder Richards the Prophet said: ‘If we go into the cell will you go with us?’”

Elder Richards answered, “Brother Joseph, you did not ask me to cross the river with you [referring to the time when they crossed the Mississippi, en route for the Rocky Mountains]—you did not ask me to come to Carthage—you did not ask me to come to jail with you—and do you think I would forsake you now? But I will tell you what I will do; if you are condemned to be hung for ‘treason,’ I will be hung in your stead, and you shall go free.”

With considerable emotion and feeling Joseph replied, “But you cannot,” to which Brother Richards firmly replied, “I will.” (B. H. Roberts, A Comprehensive History of the Church, vol. 2, p. 283.)

In these words Brother Richards displayed his concern for Joseph, who was his beloved brother and neighbor. The Savior taught: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13.)

As Latter-day Saints, we firmly believe that we are brothers and sisters, spiritual offspring of heavenly parents, members of a royal family who once dwelt and associated together. There is a beautiful song that our children sing called “I Am a Child of God,” which teaches that our Heavenly Father has sent us here and has given us a home on earth with kind and dear parents. The song contains the prayer that our Father in heaven will direct us, inspire us, and teach us what we must do to again live with him some day.

With the dawning of each new day, there will be opportunities for all of us to help our neighbors, who are our brothers, in their hour of need.

How will we respond? Will we be like the priest and like the Levite described by the Savior, and turn our heads, walk across the road, and proceed in an unconcerned and selfish way?

Or will we follow the example of the Good Samaritan and thoughtfully and sympathetically assist our neighbors and brothers in their time of trial, and thus receive approbation and the blessings of our Heavenly Father?

The choice is ours to make. May the Lord bless us that our decisions will be correct and righteous ones, for which I humbly pray, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Trials of an Earthly Existence

 I remember as a little girl my mother telling me about how she cared for her own mother and how her mother died on her birthday.   Her last words were, "Laura, I almost died bringing you into this world I guess it's only fitting I die on that day." She then took her last breath.

Another story she shared with me was taking care of my poppers mother who had cancer.  She commented that "She was in so much pain.  The only comfortable position she could find was with me sitting behind her holding her."  She then went on to say "my back would start hurting so badly but she was sleeping so peacefully I didn't dare move."

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines adversity as “a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune.” Adversity is a necessary part of the plan of salvation, God’s plan for us to be able to return to live with Him again. God sent us to earth to learn and grow through our experiences, especially through our adversity. When we experience adversity, we get the chance to utilize our agency—our ability to choose—to rely on God. Suffering can come from events that are the natural result of having a mortal body, but they can also come as a result of others’ poor decisions. While adversity looks different to everyone who experiences it, some things about it remain the same: adversity is universal and everyone experiences suffering at one point or another in their mortal life. As you learn more about adversity, don’t forget to seek the Lord’s assistance.  (What is Adversity BYU speeches)

I haven't been feeling good for over a week and finally broke down and went to the ER to see if they could figure out what was wrong.  As usual, with my medical history, the provider commented, "we have never seen anything like this."  He then concluded with, "you're a medical mystery."  I just had to smile because over the last several years that has been my journey of not exhibiting normal medical symptoms.

As I have been reflecting on various things my mom's stories came into my mind along with a scripture passage,  "where the dead looked upon the separation from their bodies as a type of torment and could not wait for the spirit and body to be reunited in its perfect resurrected form."  In 2020 when I was diagnosed with cancer I was at peace if it was my time to leave this clay tabernacle and return to my heavenly home to be reunited with my family.

I've had many conversations with my Heavenly Father on what I can do to help my body heal.  I had a test run which my body did not respond well to at all.  I vowed I would never allow that test to be administered again and found myself reflecting on my primary days where I was taught my body was a "temple."  (I have a great love for the temple and its beauty.)  I started thinking about some of the addictions that destroy so many minds and bodies and how something that's  to assist providers with finding out the problem could be toxic to the body by creating even more complex issues.  (No I'm not going to be preaching faith healing.)  I decided I'm going to be wise and more educated about procedures and their effects before their administered. 

Sister Wright's April conference address "Waiting upon the Lord" has been front and center in my mind as I search for healing answers.  Many curse the Lord when their health starts failing them and start shaking their fists at heaven screaming, "how could you let this happen to me!?  You're supposed to be a loving God!"  In the early nineties I was one of them.  But in the mid 2000's I learned that the Lord is refining my character through the pain and body malfunctions which are teaching me to become more Christlike and teaching me patience and trust in His timing.  I have received many richer blessings on the other side when I endured well.

A beloved mentor and friend upon hearing that I was not feeling well stated, "You have been through so much how much more can you bear?"  Oh, how I love and respect him.  My mind goes back to my Easter talk and the tears I shed as I felt the intensity of emotion as for the first time I truly connected with what the Savior had felt in Gethsemane.  Truman Madsen once shared a story which happened while filming the Testament.  "The actor who portrayed Jesus was a young convert and when it came to the scene of the cross you heard the 'WHACK of the hammer as it hit the nail.  This young man started crying uncontrollably which had everyone concerned and asking 'are you alright, are you hurt?'  The young man looked up and through his tears replied, 'I'm alright, it just got so real, so real."  This past Easter Sunday I totally related to what that young man felt and said.

I'm not sure what the Lord has planned.  When I'll start feeling better or if I'll get worse.  My provider's last comment was, "You're at a crossroads, your body will heal itself or you'll get sicker and then we can assist you."  Either way, until then, I know the one person who has been close by is my Heavenly Father.  He knows how to heal my body but as Elder Maxwell said, "Faith is having trust in the Lord and in His timing."  The only thing I am sure of is that I've made it very clear to my Heavenly Father where I'm wanting to be when I leave this "frail existence."  But until then I'm going to gimp along doing the best I can and smile at each person I pass and say thank you for each kindness shown.

I think of my beloved mother holding my Grandmother so she could have a peaceful sleep even though her own body was crying out in agony and telling myself, if she could do that I can do this with the same grace and dignity that she showed her entire life.

I would like to close with Elder Todd Christofferson words in the March 2022 Liahona:

The Refining Fire of Affliction

By Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I pray that each of us will draw close to our Heavenly Father and Savior through our personal adversity.

Photographs from Getty Images

Adversity in life should not surprise us. Whether it arises from our own sins and mistakes or something else, adversity is a fact of mortal life. Some people think they should be spared from any adversity if they keep God’s commandments, but it is “in the furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10; 1 Nephi 20:10) that we are chosen. Even the Savior was not exempt:

“Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

“And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him” (Hebrews 5:8–9).

For those of us who are accountable, hardship is often a crucial element of our eventually “being made perfect.” It is what makes life more than a simple multiple-choice test. God is not just interested in what we do or don’t do but in what we are becoming.¹ If we are willing, He will teach us to act as He acts rather than simply to be acted upon by other forces (see 2 Nephi 2:14–16). We must learn to be righteous in all circumstances or, as President Brigham Young (1801–77) said, even “in the dark.”²

I believe that the challenge of overcoming and growing from adversity appealed to us when God presented His plan of redemption in the premortal world. We should approach that challenge now knowing that our Heavenly Father will sustain us. But it is crucial that we turn to Him. Without God, the dark experiences of suffering and adversity tend to despondency, despair, and even bitterness.

With divine help, ultimately consolation replaces pain, peace replaces turmoil, and hope replaces sorrow. God will convert trial into blessing and, in Isaiah’s words, “give … beauty for ashes” (Isaiah 61:3). His promise is not to spare us the conflict but to preserve and console us in our afflictions and to consecrate them for our gain (see 2 Nephi 2:2; 4:19–26; Jacob 3:1).

While our Heavenly Father will not force His help and blessings upon us, He will act through the mercy and grace of His Beloved Son and the power of the Holy Spirit to sustain us when we seek Him. We find many examples of that support around us and in the scriptural record.

Old Testament Examples

In the Old Testament we see obedient Abraham patiently waiting over many years for God’s promises to him—lands of inheritance and righteous posterity—to be fulfilled. Through famine, threats to his life, sorrow, and testing, Abraham continually trusted in and served God and was in turn sustained by Him. We now honor Abraham as the “father of the faithful.”³

Abraham’s grandson Jacob fled from home, alone and apparently with little more than his clothes, to escape the death threats of his brother, Esau. For the next 20 years, Jacob served his uncle, Laban. Although Laban gave Jacob safe haven and eventually two of his daughters in marriage, he dealt duplicitously with Jacob, changing his wages and their agreements multiple times whenever Jacob seemed to be getting ahead (see Genesis 31:41).

As they finally parted, Jacob remonstrated to his father-in-law, “Except the God of my father … had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty” (Genesis 31:42). Instead, God being with him, Jacob returned home transformed from a penniless refugee to the husband and father of a large family. He had a goodly number of servants and was abundantly blessed with the wealth of the time—flocks, herds, and camels (see Genesis 32).

Joseph the son of Jacob is the classic example of one who consistently prevailed in adversity by trusting in God when others might have felt abandoned by Him. First, he was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Then, when he rose in position and esteem in the house of his Egyptian master, Potiphar, Joseph was falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife and jailed despite having literally run away from sin. Nevertheless, Joseph continued to trust in God. Even in prison he was prospered but was then forgotten by those he had helped despite their promises. (See Genesis 37; 39–41.) In the end, as we know, Joseph was rewarded with high office and the means to save his father’s family (and all of Egypt) in a time of famine.

Patiently Enduring

These and other examples show us that adversity is typically overcome over time. There is a need for enduring and persevering. Still, our Heavenly Father watches over and helps us throughout the course of that enduring—He does not wait until the end.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once observed: “By itself, of course, the passage of time does not bring an automatic advance. Yet, like the prodigal son, we often need the ‘process of time’ in order to come to our spiritual senses. (Luke 15:17.) The touching reunion of Jacob and Esau in the desert, so many years after their sibling rivalry, is a classic example. Generosity can replace animosity. Reflection can bring perception. But reflection and introspection require time. So many spiritual outcomes require saving truths to be mixed with time, forming the elixir of experience, that sovereign remedy for so many things.”⁴

President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, stated:

“Waiting upon the Lord does not imply biding one’s time. You should never feel like you are in a waiting room.

“Waiting upon the Lord implies action. I have learned over the years that our hope in Christ increases when we serve others. …

“The personal growth one can achieve now while waiting upon the Lord and His promises is an invaluable, sacred element of His plan for each one of us.”⁵

Patient enduring is a form of turning to and trusting in God. In the verses immediately preceding his counsel to ask of God if we lack wisdom, James says this about patience:

“Count it all joy when ye fall into many afflictions;

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, [lacking] nothing” (Joseph Smith Translation, James 1:2 [in James 1:2, footnote a]; James 1:3–4).

Refined by Afflictions

Photograph by Rachael Pancic

When we have our Heavenly Father’s help, our adversity and our afflictions will refine rather than defeat us (see Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8). We will emerge happier and holier beings. In a revelation to the then-President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Thomas B. Marsh, the Lord said this about His Apostles: “And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them” (Doctrine and Covenants 112:13).

We could say that in adversity we come to know “the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom [He has] sent” (John 17:3). In adversity, we walk with Them day by day. Being humbled, we learn to look to Them “in every thought” (Doctrine and Covenants 6:36). They will minister to us in a process of spiritual rebirth. I believe there is no other way.

Through pains, afflictions, and temptations, the Savior came to know “how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

I pray that each of us will draw close to our Heavenly Father and Savior through our personal adversity. At the same time, may we learn to minister to others in their adversity according to God’s pattern. It was through “suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind” that the Savior came to “know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11–12). As for us, “when, for the moment, we ourselves are not being stretched on a particular cross, we ought to be at the foot of someone else’s—full of empathy and proffering spiritual refreshment.”⁶