Flawed but True

The Sabbath has always been a day of reflection for me and today I have had many thoughts run through my mind.  For the last few weeks I have been working four twelves on our covid unit and on my days off I have been re painting and re decorating our interior space.  It has been very therapeutic for me.

As I gaze around our new space I am filled with peace and a sense of accomplishment.  Some of my pictures I hung are not straight and most the art work attiring our walls are paintings created by friends some just for me via special request.  Each piece holds a tender memory.

I have been trying my hand at creating my own type of artwork which also has its flaws because I am not an artist but I love creating.  As I look at the flaws the perfectionist in me wants to clean them all up but then I realize I am flawed and there is nothing wrong in admitting that I am far from perfect and I am still clay in the Potters Hands and He is still molding me.

Our cousin came over to see my progress and as she looked at my kitchen walls she commented, "your shelves are crooked."  I smiled and replied, "I know, that's because I'm a bit off."  But above my crooked shelves I hung a metal piece that states "Thankful, Grateful and Truly Blessed."  A constant reminder that I am all three.

During my cancer journey when covid first hit I was torn due to I so wanted to be out there helping but because of my journey at that time I was sidelined.  Now that I am back and covid is still very real for us healthcare workers I am saddened by the negativity, covertness and slothfulness that have come hand in hand with this virus.

I have tried to remain positive and true to who I am but the last few days I have used language that I have not used in many years.  

In fact in 97 I remember tears filling my eyes as I realized the foulness my mouth could spew and how I would give anything to get rid of that foulness and here I've been spewing that foulness because I have allowed all the negativity  surrounding me to infiltrate my boundaries.

My crooked pictures, paint dripped walls and crooked shelves are a reminder that I am a bit off but as I glance at the beautiful artwork my friends created a peace fills my heart and I know that they know I can do better and rise above the negativity surrounding me.

We have been encouraged to make our homes feel like the temple and I can honestly say that even though getting to the temple is challenging right now I have a piece of the temple in our home which is my sanctuary and reminder that I am flawed clay that is still being molding and one day I will be a piece of brilliant art as long as I do not forget what truly matters and why I am here.  

I'm in hopes that I can continue to follow this wise counsel: