Monday, October 16, 2017

My Off Key Song

As I shared in a previous post I just returned from 9 days in Orlando Florida
I love the beauty of Florida it is such a welcome change from the dry desert I call home.

A friend shared with me a thought on seasonal depression today, since
returning home from Florida I have found myself falling into a moderate depression.
I use to love fall but since becoming an orphan it has become a depressing time for me.

Since I hurt my back I have had to depend on friends to take me to appts
One day a friend came and picked me up and as we were traveling she asked me if I had listened to President's Uchdorf's talk about the three sisters.  I told her I had and she responded, "your the sister that sings.  I hope I'm the sister that sings."
I shared with her that another friend and I had been talking about his talk and I had shared with her that I use to be the sister that sang but now I felt like the depressed and angry sister who didn't know how to sing.

As I read President Uchdorf's talk on the first sister he commented that she found herself as the "victim."
One of his counsels that jumped out to me was " have unique gifts that originated in your spiritual creation and that were developed during the vast span of your premortal life."
I was visiting with my old relief society president that called me to be the enrichment leader last year and as we were visiting she gave me a high five and stated "we did good last year."
I have to admit that we did do good.
I lay it all to the "Unique gifts that I have been developing" and good friends who shared their talents to help me succeed.

What I took away from his counsel about the angry sister was this "We are responsible for our own discipleship and it has little--if anything--to do with the way others treat us...our love for them is independent of their feelings towards us."
I have been trying to focus on my personal discipleship and letting go of what people think of me and no matter what I am trying to love all the way the Savior loves me. 
It has not been easy but I continue to try.

Now to the third sister,  I remember always having a song in my heart and a smile on my face but since becoming an orphan it has been harder and harder for me to keep that song in my heart and smile on my face.
I have been blessed with the most amazing friends who are my family but when the darkness starts to creep into my soul I struggle even reaching out to them. 
As one friend shared with me "we're isolaters."

I don't think my friend and I are the only ones who isolate I believe there are many when they are feeling down they isolate and let the darkness fill their soul with despair and hopelessness.

I love President Uchdorf's words where he spoke about the tree of life and the journey to get there.
He shared counsel on finding refuge in the "wonderful organizations of the church...they are a safe home, where you can feel a sense of belonging and receive encouragement from your sisters and fellow disciples."
Sadly, Relief society has not been a safe refuge for me.

For one year, last year I felt a sense of belonging because my Relief Society president offered 100% of her support and encouraged me to fly.  I knew she loved and trusted me and I thrived under her.
But she has been released and I am once again avoiding relief society.

I have been pondering Elder Bednar's new book One by One.  I so get that.
The last few years of my journey there has been the one. 
That beloved Relief society President saw me as that one and reached out to me and gave me a chance to grow.
I am eternally grateful for her and oh how I love her.

One of my adversities since injuring my back is I have had to reach out to friends for a ride to appts.
I was getting ready to text a trusted friend to see if she could give me a ride when the spirit whispered that I needed to give one of my visiting teachers a chance.
The woman that came to mind is a very kind and humble woman who always compliments me.
She is truly a remarkable woman.  I come to find that out by letting her in.
What a joy and blessing the short time we have spent together has been.
It has brought some sunshine into my soul.
She is truly my Sister.

For now I am going to learn to love the sisters in my branch one by one as the spirit directs and hopefully one day the relief society will be a refuge and sisterhood for me.
But for now I am going to reach out to my trusted friends and keep them in the loop when I start feeling blue.  (I promised one I would so I guess I better start) and to all the other isolater's don't be afraid to reach out to that one friend who truly gets you, your Heavenly Father.
I know because He has gotten an earful from me these past few weeks and you know what He does get it and sends a little extra tender loving care.

In closing I leave you with President Uchdorf's inspired words "The song of true discipleship may sound off-key or even a little loud to some.  Since the beginning of time, this has been so.
But to our Heavenly Father and to those who love and honor Him, it is the most precious and beautiful song..."

 Three Sisters
We are responsible for our own discipleship, and it has little—if anything—to do with the way others treat us.
Dear sisters, dear friends, to begin general conference with a worldwide sisters’ session is significant and wonderful. Just imagine: sisters of all ages, backgrounds, nationalities, and languages united in faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ.
As we recently met with our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, he expressed to us how much he loves the Lord. And I know that President Monson is very grateful for your love, your prayers, and your devotion to the Lord.
A long time ago in a distant land lived a family of three sisters.
The first sister was sad. Everything from her nose to her chin and from her skin to her toes seemed not quite good enough to her. When she spoke, her words sometimes came out awkwardly, and people laughed. When someone criticized her or “forgot” to invite her to something, she would blush, walk away, and find a secret spot where she would let out a sad sigh and wonder why life had turned out to be so bleak and cheerless.
The second sister was mad. She thought of herself as very smart, but there was always someone else who scored higher on tests at school. She considered herself funny, fair, fashionable, and fascinating. But always, there seemed to be someone who was funnier, fairer, more fashionable, or more fascinating.
She was never first at anything, and this she could not endure. Life was not supposed to be this way!
Sometimes she lashed out at others, and it seemed that she was always one breath away from being outraged by one thing or another.
Of course, this did not make her any more likable or popular. Sometimes she clenched her teeth, tightened her fists, and thought, “Life is so unfair!”
Then there was the third sister. Unlike her sad and mad sisters, she was—well, glad. And it wasn’t because she was smarter or more beautiful or more capable than her sisters. No, people sometimes avoided or ignored her too. They sometimes made fun of what she was wearing or the things she was saying. They sometimes said mean things about her. But she did not allow any of that to bother her too much.
This sister loved to sing. She didn’t have great pitch, and people laughed about it, but that didn’t stop her. She would say, “I am not going to let other people and their opinions stop me from singing!”
The very fact that she kept singing made her first sister sad and her second sister mad.
Many years passed, and eventually each sister reached the end of her time on earth.
The first sister, who discovered again and again that there was no shortage of disappointments in life, eventually died sad.
The second, who every day found something new to dislike, died mad.
And the third sister, who spent her life singing her song with all her might and a confident smile on her face, died glad.
Of course, life is never so simple, and people are never so one-dimensional as the three sisters in this story. But even extreme examples like these can teach us something about ourselves. If you are like most of us, you may have recognized part of yourself in one, two, or perhaps all three of these sisters. Let us take a closer look at each one.

The Victim

The first sister saw herself as a victim—as someone who was acted upon.1 It seemed like one thing after another kept happening to her that made her miserable. With this approach to life, she was giving others control over how she felt and behaved. When we do this, we are driven about by every wind of opinion—and in this day of ever-present social media, those winds blow at hurricane intensity.
Dear sisters, why should you surrender your happiness to someone, or a group of someones, who cares very little about you or your happiness?
If you find yourself worrying about what other people say about you, may I suggest this antidote: remember who you are. Remember that you are of the royal house of the kingdom of God, daughters of Heavenly Parents, who reign throughout the universe.
You have the spiritual DNA of God. You have unique gifts that originated in your spiritual creation and that were developed during the vast span of your premortal life. You are the child of our merciful and everlasting Father in Heaven, the Lord of Hosts, the One who created the universe, spread the spinning stars across the vast expanse of space, and placed the planets in their appointed orbits.
You are in His hands.
Very good hands.
Loving hands.
Caring hands.
And nothing anyone ever says about you can change that. Their words are meaningless compared to what God has said about you.
You are His precious child.
He loves you.
Even when you stumble, even when you turn away from Him, God loves you. If you are feeling lost, abandoned, or forgotten—fear not. The Good Shepherd will find you. He will lift you upon His shoulders. And He will carry you home.2
My dear sisters, please let these divine truths sink deeply into your hearts. And you will find that there are many reasons not to be sad, for you have an eternal destiny to fulfill.
The beloved Savior of the world gave His life so that you could choose to make that destiny a reality. You have taken upon you His name; you are His disciples. And because of Him, you can clothe yourselves with robes of eternal glory.

The Hater

The second sister was angry at the world. Like her sad sister, she felt that the problems in her life were all caused by someone else. She blamed her family, her friends, her boss and coworkers, the police, the neighbors, Church leaders, current fashion trends, even the intensity of solar flares, and plain bad luck. And she lashed out at all of them.
She didn’t think of herself as a mean person. To the contrary, she felt that she was only sticking up for herself. Everyone else, she believed, was motivated by selfishness, pettiness, and hate. She, on the other hand, was motivated by good intentions—justice, integrity, and love.
Unfortunately, the mad sister’s line of thinking is all too common. This was noted in a recent study that explored conflict between rival groups. As part of the study, researchers interviewed Palestinians and Israelis in the Middle East, and Republicans and Democrats in the United States. They discovered that “each side felt their own group [was] motivated by love more than hate, but when asked why their rival group [was] involved in the conflict, [they] pointed to hate as [the other] group’s motivating factor.”3
In other words, each group thought of themselves as the “good guys”—fair, kind, and truthful. By contrast, they saw their rivals as the “bad guys”—uninformed, dishonest, even evil.
In the year I was born, the world was immersed in a terrible war that brought agonizing grief and consuming sorrow to the world. This war was caused by my own nation—by a group of people who identified certain other groups as evil and encouraged hatred toward them.
They silenced those they did not like. They shamed and demonized them. They considered them inferior—even less than human. Once you degrade a group of people, you are more likely to justify words and acts of violence against them.
I shudder when I think about what happened in 20th-century Germany.
When someone opposes or disagrees with us, it’s tempting to assume that there must be something wrong with them. And from there it’s a small step to attach the worst of motives to their words and actions.
Of course, we must always stand for what is right, and there are times when we must raise our voices for that cause. However, when we do so with anger or hate in our hearts—when we lash out at others to hurt, shame, or silence them—chances are we are not doing so in righteousness.
What did the Savior teach?
“I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.”4
This is the Savior’s way. It is the first step in breaking down the barriers that create so much anger, hatred, division, and violence in the world.
“Yes,” you might say, “I would be willing to love my enemies—if only they were willing to do the same.”
But that doesn’t really matter, does it? We are responsible for our own discipleship, and it has little—if anything—to do with the way others treat us. We obviously hope that they will be understanding and charitable in return, but our love for them is independent of their feelings toward us.
Perhaps our effort to love our enemies will soften their hearts and influence them for good. Perhaps it will not. But that does not change our commitment to follow Jesus Christ.
So, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we will love our enemies.
We will overcome anger or hate.
We will fill our hearts with love for all of God’s children.
We will reach out to bless others and minister to them—even those who might “despitefully use [us] and persecute [us].”5

The Authentic Disciple

The third sister represents the authentic disciple of Jesus Christ. She did something that can be extremely hard to do: she trusted God even in the face of ridicule and hardship. Somehow she maintained her faith and hope, despite the scorn and cynicism around her. She lived joyfully not because her circumstances were joyful but because she was joyful.
None of us makes it through life’s journey unopposed. With so many forces trying to draw us away, how do we keep our vision fixed on the glorious happiness promised to the faithful?
I believe the answer can be found in a dream that a prophet had thousands of years ago. The prophet’s name is Lehi, and his dream is recorded in the precious and wonderful Book of Mormon.
In his dream, Lehi saw a vast field, and in it was a wondrous tree, beautiful beyond description. He also saw large groups of people making their way toward the tree. They wanted to taste its glorious fruit. They felt and trusted that it would give them great happiness and abiding peace.
There was a narrow path that led to the tree, and alongside was an iron rod that helped them stay on the path. But there was also a mist of darkness that obscured their vision of both the path and the tree. And perhaps even more dangerous was the sound of loud laughter and ridicule coming from a large and spacious building nearby. Shockingly, the mocking even convinced some people who had reached the tree and tasted the wondrous fruit to begin to feel ashamed and wander away.6
Perhaps they began to doubt that the tree was really as beautiful as they had once thought. Perhaps they began to question the reality of what they had experienced.
Maybe they thought if they turned away from the tree, life would be easier. Maybe they would not be ridiculed or laughed at anymore.
And actually, the people who were scoffing at them looked like people who were quite happy and having a good time. So perhaps if they abandoned the tree, they would be welcomed into the congregation of the great and spacious building and be applauded for their judgment, intelligence, and sophistication.

Stay on the Path

Dear sisters, dear friends, if you find it difficult to hold fast to the iron rod and walk steadfastly toward salvation; if the laughter and ridicule of others who seem so confident cause you to waver; if you are troubled by unanswered questions or doctrines you don’t understand yet; if you feel saddened because of disappointments, I urge you to remember Lehi’s dream.
Stay on the path!
Never let go of the rod of iron—the word of God!
And when anyone tries to make you ashamed for partaking of the love of God, ignore them.
Never forget you are a child of God; rich blessings are in store; if you can learn to do His will, you’ll live with Him once more!7
The promises of praise and acceptance by the world are unreliable, untrue, and unsatisfying. God’s promises are sure, true, and joyful—now and forever.
I invite you to consider religion and faith from a higher perspective. Nothing offered in the great and spacious building can compare with the fruit of living the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Indeed, “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”8
I have learned for myself that the path of discipleship in the gospel of Jesus Christ is the way to joy. It is the way to safety and peace. It is the way to truth.
I testify that by the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, you can learn this for yourself.
In the meantime, if the path becomes difficult for you, I hope you will find refuge and strength in our wonderful organizations of the Church: Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society. They are like waypoints on the path, where you can renew your confidence and faith for the journey ahead. They are a safe home, where you can feel a sense of belonging and receive encouragement from your sisters and fellow disciples.
The things you learn in Primary prepare you for the additional truths you learn as young women. The path of discipleship you walk in your Young Women classes leads to the fellowship and sisterhood of Relief Society. With each step along the way, you are given additional opportunities to demonstrate your love for others through acts of faith, compassion, charity, virtue, and service.
Choosing this path of discipleship will lead to untold happiness and fulfillment of your divine nature.
It will not be easy. It will require the very best that you have—all your intelligence, creativity, faith, integrity, strength, determination, and love. But one day you will look back upon your efforts, and oh, how grateful you will be that you remained strong, that you believed, and that you did not depart from the path.

Press On

There may be many things about life that are beyond your control. But in the end, you have the power to choose both your destination and many of your experiences along the way. It is not so much your abilities but your choices that make the difference in life.9
You cannot allow circumstances to make you sad.
You cannot allow them to make you mad.
You can rejoice that you are a daughter of God. You can find joy and happiness in the grace of God and in the love of Jesus Christ.
You can be glad.
I urge you to fill your hearts with gratitude for the abundant and limitless goodness of God. My beloved sisters, you can do this! I pray with all the affection of my soul that you will make the choice to press on toward the tree of life. I pray that you will choose to lift up your voice and make your life a glorious symphony of praise, rejoicing in what the love of God, the wonders of His Church, and the gospel of Jesus Christ can bring to the world.
The song of true discipleship may sound off-key or even a little loud to some. Since the beginning of time, this has been so.
But to our Heavenly Father and to those who love and honor Him, it is a most precious and beautiful song—the sublime and sanctifying song of redeeming love and service to God and fellowmen.10
I leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord that you will find the strength and courage to joyfully thrive as a daughter of God while gladly walking each day on the glorious path of discipleship. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Friday, October 13, 2017

My Trust in Him

I have had many thoughts that have been running through my mind that I want to share but they have been so scattered that I haven't been able to put my thoughts into words until today

Monday evening I went to get up from a chair and my lower back locked and pain starting shooting through my body.  It was so intense I couldn't move and it sucked my breath from me.
I took a deep breath and willed myself to "walk it off."
Looking back not sure that was such a good idea.

Wound up in ER which got medications on board.
I am now an official pill popper and how grateful I am for those medications right now.
I have a good chiropractor and a good friend who is a natruopath who are now at the helm helping my body heal.

With my down time I have been listening to this last session of Conference and so many talks have spoken to my troubled soul.

 This past July the Spirit whispered it wast time to go visit my family in Florida.
I found an awesome vacation package and was prompted to invite a friend who has had a real rough time.
I marked my calendar the days we were going to fly out and the day we would return but a few days later the Spirit whispered that I needed to change our flight date from Monday to Tuesday.
Me being me I went back and changed the date.
In August I finalized and paid for our trip in Sept.

Couple week before our trip we heard about hurricane Irma coming to town.
I then started getting "you can't go, it won't be safe, you'll be taken out in a hurricane"
I didn't feel the panic and felt my trip would be fine but when my family sent me a text voicing their concern I began to doubt myself and headed to the temple.

Just before the session was to begin the Spirit whispered "promise you'll go to the Orlando temple."
I promised and my doubts were replaced with a surety we were going to Florida and it was going to be a great trip.
The voices of discouragement continued to sound but my response was "I'm going to to the Orlando temple, it is going to be a great adventure."

My first tender mercy:  all flights were cancelled Monday so if I would have stuck to my original flight dates we couldn't have flown out.
Most flights resumed Tuesday.
Second tender mercy  my experience at the Orlando temple was amazing!!!!!
Third tender mercy the parks we had passes too had no crowds and I met some amazing people who left footprints on my heart.
It was an amazing trip which wouldn't have happened if I chose to listen to the voices around me saying "you can't go, its not safe...."

I guess that's why Elder Ellis talk resounded with me "Do we Trust Him...'

Since being home I have been struggling but hat journey is for another day and another post.
But for now I hope Elder Ellis words speak to another and opens their mind and heart to some deep reflection which opens those wondrous "Aha" moments.

Do We Trust Him? Hard Is Good

Regardless of the issue, hard can be good for those who will move forward with faith and trust the Lord and His plan.
Before I begin, as one representing all of us impacted by the devastation of the recent hurricanes and earthquakes, I express my heartfelt appreciation for all the Helping Hands and their facilitators, who gave us help and hope.
In October 2006, I gave my first general conference talk. I felt an important message for the worldwide Church included the assertion “The Lord trusts us!”
He really does trust us in so many ways. He has given us the gospel of Jesus Christ and, in this dispensation, its fulness. He entrusts us with His priesthood authority, complete with the keys for its proper use. With that power we can bless, serve, receive ordinances, and make covenants. He trusts us with His restored Church, including the holy temple. He trusts His servants with the sealing power—to bind on earth and have it bound in heaven! He even trusts us to be the earthly parents, teachers, and caregivers of His children.
After these years of General Authority service in many parts of the world, I declare with even more certainty: He trusts us.
Now the question for this conference is “Do we trust Him?”

Do We Trust Him?

President Thomas S. Monson often reminds us to “trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
“Be not wise in thine own eyes” (Proverbs 3:5–7).
Do we trust His commandments to be for our good? His leaders, though imperfect, to lead us well? His promises to be sure? Do we trust that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do know us and want to help us? Even in the midst of trials, challenges, and hard times, do we still trust Him?
Looking back, I learned some of the best lessons during the hardest times—whether as a youth, on a mission, starting a new career, striving to magnify my callings, raising a large family, or struggling to be self-reliant. It seems clear that hard is good!

Hard Is Good

Hard makes us stronger, humbles us, and gives us a chance to prove ourselves. Our beloved handcart pioneers came to know God in their extremities. Why did it take two chapters for Nephi and his brothers to obtain the brass plates and only three verses to enlist Ishmael’s family to join them in the wilderness? (see 1 Nephi 347:3–5). It seems the Lord wanted to strengthen Nephi through the struggle of obtaining the plates.
The hard things in our lives should come as no surprise. One of the earliest covenants we make with the Lord is to live the law of sacrifice. Sacrifice, by definition, involves giving up something desirable. With experience we realize it is a small price to pay in relation to the blessings that follow. Under the direction of Joseph Smith, it was said that “a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.”1
Members of the Godhead are no strangers to hard things. God the Father sacrificed His Only Begotten Son to the terrible suffering of the Atonement, including death by crucifixion. The scriptures say Jesus Christ learned “obedience by the things which he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). He voluntarily suffered the agony of the Atonement. The Holy Ghost must be long-suffering to prompt, warn, and guide us, only to sometimes be ignored, misinterpreted, or forgotten.

Part of the Plan

Hard is part of the gospel plan. One of the purposes of this life is for us to be proven (see Abraham 3:25). Few have suffered more undeservedly than the people of Alma. They fled from wicked King Noah, only to become slaves to the Lamanites! Through those trials the Lord taught them that He chastens His people and tries “their patience and their faith” (Mosiah 23:21).
During the terrible days in Liberty Jail, the Lord taught Joseph Smith to “endure it well” (D&C 121:8) and promised that if he did, “all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).
President Thomas S. Monson has pleaded, “May we ever choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.”2 With regard to our temples, he stated that “no sacrifice is too great, no price too heavy, no struggle too difficult in order to receive [temple] blessings.”3
In the world of nature, hard is part of the circle of life. It is hard for a baby chick to hatch out of that tough eggshell. But when someone tries to make it easier, the chick does not develop the strength necessary to live. In a similar way, the struggle of a butterfly to escape the cocoon strengthens it for the life it will live.
Through these examples, we see that hard is the constant! We all have challenges. The variable is our reaction to the hard.
At one point, some Book of Mormon people suffered “great persecutions” and “much affliction” (Helaman 3:34). How did they react? “They did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation” (Helaman 3:35). Another example occurred after years of war: “Because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, … and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God” (Alma 62:41).
We each choose our reaction to hard.

Be Careful with Easy

Before this calling I was a financial consultant in Houston, Texas. Most of my work was with multimillionaires who owned their own businesses. Almost all of them had created their successful businesses from nothing through lots of hard work. The saddest thing for me was to hear some of them say that they wanted to make it easier for their children. They did not want their children to suffer as they had. In other words, they would deprive their children of the very thing that had made them successful.
By contrast, we know a family who took a different approach. The parents were inspired by J. C. Penney’s experience where his father told him when he turned eight years old that he was on his own financially. They came up with their own version: as their children graduated from high school, they were on their own financially—for further education (college, graduate school) and for their financial maintenance (truly self-reliant) (see D&C 83:4). Happily, the children reacted wisely. All of them are college graduates, and several also completed graduate school—all on their own. It wasn’t easy, but they did it. They did it with hard work and faith.

Faith to Trust Him

The question “Do we trust Him?” may be better stated, “Do we have the faith to trust Him?”
Do we have the faith to trust His promises regarding tithing that with 90 percent of our increase plus the Lord’s help, we are better off than with 100 percent on our own?
Do we have sufficient faith to trust that He will visit us in our afflictions (see Mosiah 24:14), that He will contend with those that contend with us (see Isaiah 49:252 Nephi 6:17), and that He will consecrate our afflictions for our gain? (see 2 Nephi 2:2).
Will we exercise the faith necessary to keep His commandments so He can bless us both temporally and spiritually? And will we continue faithful to the end so that He can receive us into His presence? (see Mosiah 2:41).
Brothers and sisters, we can have the faith to trust Him! He wants what is best for us (see Moses 1:39). He will answer our prayers (see D&C 112:10). He will keep His promises (see D&C 1:38). He has the power to keep those promises (see Alma 37:16). He knows everything! And most important, He knows what is best (see Isaiah 55:8–9).

A Dangerous World

Our world today is difficult. We have rampant evil, corruption in every nation, terrorism reaching even safe places, economic collapse, unemployment, disease, natural disasters, civil wars, despotic leaders, and so on. What should we do? Do we flee or fight? Which is right? Either choice can be dangerous. It was dangerous for George Washington and his armies to fight but also for our pioneer ancestors to flee. It was dangerous for Nelson Mandela to struggle for freedom. It has been said that for evil to prevail, it is only necessary for good people to do nothing.4

Fear Not!

In whatever we do, we should not decide nor act out of a spirit of fear. Truly, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear” (2 Timothy 1:7). (Do you realize the idea of “fear not” is emphasized throughout the scriptures?) The Lord has taught me that discouragement and fear are tools of the adversary. The Lord’s answer to hard times is to go forward with faith.

What Is Hard?

Each of us may have a different opinion about what is hard. Some may consider it hard to pay tithing when finances are tight. Leaders sometimes find it difficult to expect the poor to pay tithing. It may be hard for some of us to go forward with faith to marry or to have a family. There are those who find it hard “to be content with [what] the Lord hath allotted unto [them]” (Alma 29:3). It may be hard to be content with our current calling (see Alma 29:6). Church discipline may seem very hard, but for some it marks the beginning of the true repentance process.
Regardless of the issue, hard can be good for those who will move forward with faith and trust the Lord and His plan.

My Witness

My brothers and sisters, I witness that these leaders seated behind me are called of God. Their desire is to serve the Lord well and help us establish the gospel in our hearts. I love and sustain them.
I love our Savior, Jesus Christ. I marvel that He loved the Father and us enough to become our Savior and Redeemer; that by so doing, He had to suffer such that it caused Him “to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit” (D&C 19:18). Yet faced with this awful prospect and its necessity, He affirmed to the Father, “Not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). I glory in the angel’s words: “He is not here: for he is risen” (Matthew 28:6).
His example truly is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Only by following that example can we find “peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (D&C 59:23). As I have followed His example and applied His teachings, I have learned for myself that each of His “exceedingly great and precious promises” (2 Peter 1:4) is true.
My greatest desires are to stand with Mormon as a true disciple of Jesus Christ (see 3 Nephi 5:13) and to one day hear from His lips, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

My Twelve Step Journey

Over these last few months I challenged myself to take this "Twelve Step Journey" and today as I was driving home from work I realized I started this journey in 1996.

The last few steps of this journey are:

Step 8:  Seeking Forgiveness:   for me that was me learning first how to forgive myself and then as I continued to grow how to forgive those whose actions or words hurt me.  
To this day I finding myself seeking forgiveness and trying to be more Christ like with those around me.

Step 9:  Restitution and Reconciliation:  1998 the year I took care of my poppers was my step 9

Step 10:  Daily Accountability:   For many years I was one who pointed my finger outwards.  
The day I learned to point that finger inwards was a hard day;  but each day since I am responsible for my actions, my words and my mess ups which believe me are many and it is up to me to apologize when I have stepped out of line.  No one else is accountable for my actions or deeds.
The Spirit has given me some strong reminders of that. 

Step 11:  Personal Revelation:  I have had many over the years but the thought I want to share here and now is this.  Step 11 is the reason I became a nurse and it is my greatest blessing when things start going awry.  How grateful I am that "I have ears to hear."

Finally my most favorite Step

Step 12:  Service

I love these words found in Mosiah:

"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."

As I was driving home tonight this song started playing on the Christian radio station I listen to:

Josh Wilson Lyrics

"I Refuse"

Sometimes I
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's all right
When I know they're not
This world needs God
But it's easier to stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong
But I refuse

Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, Oh God
So if you say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who you are

Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse

To stand and watch
The weary and lost
Cry out for help
I refuse
To turn my back
And try and act like all is well
I refuse
To stay unchanged
To wait another day
To doubt myself
I refuse
To make one more excuse

Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse

I refuse
I refuse

I love the lyrics!!  Each time I hear it I'm singing along with heart a pounding because I too:

 "refuse to sit around and wait for someone else, 
to do what God has called me to do myself,
 I could choose not to move 

My greatest joy has come from serving others.

I look back at the woman I was when I started this journey in 96 not having a clue how my life would be changed.
I look at the woman I have become and I am excited to meet the woman I have yet to meet.

This 12 step journey for me continues and will continue because it has been my greatest adventure in truly coming to know me and coming to the realization not only am a Child of God but I truly do have a Divine Nature and Destiny.

What a wonderful day it will be on that day when we stand in those royal courts on high and look into

"Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly inf front you your Divine Nature and Destiny."
(Glen L Pace 2010)``````````