Thursday, September 27, 2012

A Families Love

I remember my mother telling me stories on how her mother would always come and comfort her when she was not feeling well.  I guess that is why when my life is filled with uncertainty I run home to be close to my family who wiped away many a childhood tear.
The other day as I was heading to the Twin Falls temple feeling a little unsure of myself I found this yearning to run to my home away from home and spend some time with loyal friends and wonderful memories.
I called my friend to let her know I was heading her way and for her to be ready to go to the temple with me the next day.
Upon arriving I first drove to where my parents along with my grandparents are quietly resting.
I could not hold back the tears as I sat and visited with my family.
I could feel their loving touch as they gently wiped away my tears and my wounded soul was once again filled with the love that I had known all my life.
I left my little gift in hopes that the cemetery personal would let it stay.
I then went and visited with a cousin who is still living.  My cousin was at work but his wife proceeded to let me know of the struggle they were facing.
Her 39 year old son in law was told he had stage four pancreatic cancer.  He has a lovely wife and children.  Recently he received a Priesthood blessing which has given him hope that the cancer will disappear.  I personally have witnessed the power of the priesthood and have witnessed countless miracles in my life in fulfillment of promises made within a blessing.  She not being LDS does not understand where this valiant young man and his wife are receiving the strength and courage to continue on.  I know the Lord has his arms wrapped around that family and he will not forsake them.
The next day I gathered my friend and we proceeded to go to her brand new temple.  With tears in her eyes she shared with me how grateful she was I had called and invited her to the temple.  She then proceeded to share with me some of the trials she and her family have been facing.
She truly needed a friend and to partake of the great spirit of our Father in His hallowed house.
I promised her I would return and we would have another spontaneous trip to her temple.
I then went to see my brother in his resting place.  I was awed by all the beautifully decorated magnificent head stones which and erupted around him.  Then for a brief moment I felt a pang of sorrow as I gazed down at his simple granite head stone which had no beautiful decorations.  As a tear started slipping down
my cheek, I once again felt his love and gratitude for all that I had done.  I then remembered the day my Uncle and I had picked out his headstone and the design just for him.
Returning to my car I had planned on making the trek back to Idaho but found myself feeling that I had to stop and pay my respects also to my Uncle Vick and Aunt Ruth.  After Terry died I spent a lot of time in their home and we forged a bond that was very special and unique.  I could hear my Uncle Vick telling me, "Lorie when I die there is no doubt in my mind that you will continue to come and see me." He was right.
As I gazed upon their headstone I once again was surrounded by their love and peace bound up my scared and frightened heart.  Across the way was a beautiful rose bush someone had planted for their loved one.  I excused myself and went and took a solitary rose to put on their baby sons grave.  I doubt there are any alive who know how much their baby boy meant to them; but I do.
Revamped and refreshed I started the trek back to Idaho with a sadness that there was so many whom I cared about that were dodging fiery darts of their own but also the assurance they would be alright.
Tomorrow I go and see my trusted MD and friend to see if there is anything major going on with me or if it is just a minor set back.
One thing is for sure, whatever challenge I will be called to face I will not be facing it alone.
Though my family has temporally disappeared from my view they are still close by within my heart.
Their love for me stronger and purer than when they were here.
I am so very grateful for the people they were and the lessons they taught me.
One day soon we will all be reunited and what a joyous reunion that will be.
Until then I know our Father will be with us til we meet again.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Power of Love

These last few weeks I have been reminded again and again what a powerful influence love can have on ones soul.  I have been feeling that I am in a transitional stage and have had what appears to be heavy burdens resting upon my shoulders, which have brought me to great despair.
a little girl can feel her saviors love - jesus fan artI have even been looking deeply inward feeling that maybe there was something wrong with me that was the cause of my frustration and hollowness.
Everywhere I turned, places which one brought me peace now appeared to contribute to my emptiness.
One morning I felt this immense desire to reach out to a loved and trusted friend.  All that morning I found myself making excuses on why I should not go and spend some time in her little world.  But the feeling that I should go kept persisting.
jesus with angels holding child - jesus fan artUpon seeing my friend and spending an afternoon in her little world I felt myself coming alive once again.
As I was driving home, I was listening to a talk on CD and the speaker was talking about the real power of "Pure Love."  One comment he made resounded deep within my soul, "Pure love can over time even melt away stone."  
In a flash I remembered a conversation I had with a very dear friend who lovingly put his arm around me and said, "How can anyone resist you, you love so deeply."  Needless to say I have been listening to that talk over and over.
jesus hugging girl - jesus fan artwelcome home - jesus fan artbe patient - jesus fan artjesus holding child - jesus fan art

Another moment flashed quickly through my mind a conversation I had had with a co-worker awhile back.  I asked her if she would ever leave her facility to spread her wings.  She smiled and said, "How could I?  I love my residents and I love those with whom I work with."  I saw the truthfulness of her words in her face.  One could truly see her great love for all those who surrounded her.
Right now with the cross I am called to share with my husband I am finding that now more than ever I need to be surrounded by those who truly love me.
One could say I am spoiled; you see ever since I can remember I have been surrounded by a family and extended family that showered me in love.  But they weren't the only ones.  At a very young age I knew I had a Heavenly Father who loved me deeply and each and every day in some special way just for me He would over and over show me how much he loved me.
Today I see His great love for me exhibited by those I call friend.  Each and every one of them love me and I them.
As my husband and I face this difficult time, there is no doubt in my mind that my heart will be expanded to exhibit a greater increase of love towards him, so that he too may come to know how much he is loved.
jesus hugging a girl - jesus fan artEspecially by a loving Heavenly Father who knows his name just as well as he know mine and who loves him just as deeply as He loves me.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Lost but not Forsaken

Over the last few months I have been struggling with a severe cloud of gloom which has been hanging over my head.  It seemed that no matter where I tried to hide this cloud of gloom would find me and linger.
I am sure all have had those moments when they felt they had been forsaken by all, including their God.
During one of my most desperate moments as I was searching for peace and some type of hope, I stumbled across a verse of scripture that truly spoke to my soul:

"O God, where art thou?  
And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?
How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, 
yea thy pure eye behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, 
and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?
Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, 
before thine heart shall be softened toward them, 
and thy bowels be moved with compassion towards them?
O Lord God Almighty, maker of the heaven, earth and seas, 
and of all things that in them are,
and who controllest and subjectest the devil, 
and the dark dominion of Sheol---
stretch forth thy hand; let thy pavilion be taken up;
let thy hiding place no longer be covered;
let thine ear be inclined; let thine heart be softened, 
and thy bowels moved with compassion towards us...
My (child) peace be unto thy soul, 
thine adversity and thine afflictions 
shall be but a small moment;
And then, if thou endure it well, 
God shall exalt thee on high...
Thy friends do stand by thee, 
and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
Thou art no yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, 
neither charge thee with transgressions as they did Job.
And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, 
or into the hands of murderers 
and the sentence of death passed upon thee;
if the billowing surge conspire against thee;
if fierce winds become thine enemy;
if the heavens gather blackness 
and all the elements combine to hedge up the way;
and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee,
know thou my (child) that all these things shall give thee experience, 
and shall be for thy good.
The Son of Man hath descended below them all.
Art thou greater then He?
Therefore hold on the way....Thy days are known,
and thy years shall be numbered less;
therefore fear not what man can do,
or God shall be with you forever and ever."

1998 was the first year those words
 spoke to my troubled soul.  
Today they once again spoke to my troubled soul and again for my witness I found friends old and new with outstretched hands and warm hearts
 reassuring me they would be right by my side 
willing and able to do whatever they could
 to try and lighten this burden 
that has been weighing on my troubled soul.

And then this great peace started welling deep within my soul and radiating into my entire being,
which spoke to my heart and reassured me that just as He had been there for me in 1998, He would continue to be beside me forever and ever.  

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Life's Silly Moments

Have you ever had those awkward silly moments in life where you just have to laugh and tell yourself, "I'm such a silly knob!!"  Those moments when your true blue friends and you are the only ones that can truly appreciate that moment and agree, "only you!!"
Just the other day as I was leaving Taco Bell with my fave guys and I's lunch, I had one of my truly silly moments.
As I walked towards the door I was greeted by a very cute young man who looked  liked Johnny Depp in his younger years.  This young man graciously bowed and then proceeded to hold the door open for my exit.  Me being me , found myself thinking, "self, just step in and out of this door just so I can be in awe of this young man's cuteness."  With pounding heart, I attempted to walk calmly to my pick em up.
Me being me I posted about this experience on Face book just to have one of my true blue friends let me know how she was laughing out loud when she had read that post.
She knows me so very well; well enough that I am sure she was right there with me in her minds eye.
One of our moments involved our favorite eating place and a really really cute waiter.
At that time she was single.
Our Waiter was totally cute!!  Well me being me I happened to mention to him that, "hey your cute, she's cute, how bout you two get together?"  My friend just about died laughing.  The Waiter took it all in stride.
He never did ask my friend for her number and he waited on us several times after and each time he would smile and joke with us.
Another true blue friend reminded me of the time I went to a Karate training thing with an other's friends husband who was also my instructor.  (Lots of tales to tell about my Karate training)  any who, the presenter who was a buff lean mean fighting machine and smelt so good kept using me as his volunteer.
Oh my goodness is all I can say.  I had been married for quite few years and have lost my poker face many eons ago.  He had me so flustered I found myself tripping over my own two feet and tongue.
Each time he placed my hands on a lean part of his muscle massed chest, upper arm and upper thigh I found myself feeling like I was going to pass out and thinking, "Oh, how I miss the days when fave guy was lean and muscular like this; now he's like me soft and flabby."
My instructor just sat back and enjoyed my awkwardness.
This nice gentleman was even kind enough to ask me if I would be coming back tomorrow as I tried to rush past him.  Breathlessly I replied, "I can't I can't!!"
He just gave me this knowing smile and I found myself feeling like the ground could suck me up anytime now.
My friends and I still get a laugh out of that one.  Because they know me.
Another moment happened when I was in high school.  My best girl and I were out on the "cruise."
We or I had been talking with this really cute guy all the way down the strip.
We were coming to a stop light and I figured we could really get some nice one on one time.
For some reason my friend pulled into the far lane and a car with an "older" couple pulled between us.
My new friend and I were shouting over this middle car.
As we pulled to the stop light they pulled into the turn lane to turn right and we were in a lane where we could only go straight with this couple still between us.
As they turned he started yelling, "Meet Me.......!!!"  I was just for sure this young man was the man of my dreams and I'm desperately yelling at the middle car to "MOVE!!!"  and yelling at him "WHERE!!!"
We hunted all night for them but alas we never found them.  Ah young love.
Last funny snap shot.  The first time I saw my fave guy I was a goner.
Weeks after dropping him hints he finally asked me out for "Pie and Coffee."
At the time I had no clue he had invited me because another kid he knew liked me and asked him to invite me.
I told the kid to take up the whole bench so fave guy could sit next to me.  He was kind enough to do just that.
A year or so later after we were married we once again ran into this young man.
The last time I had seen him,  he was a scrawny teen with the typical teen face issues.  Just not my type.
When our paths crossed again he was a lean mean fighting machine who had made good money by starting his own business.
Hubby smiled, leaned over and said, "See you should have sat next to him!"
All I could do was shake my head and start laughing, "only me!"